No one can claim today being hundred percent aligned with their personality. It is just impossible. By definition, a personality is a characteristic rather than a substance: it is never the same, its behavior always depends on the situations and – just like our habits – it can take different forms over time. What is this all about…? Our ego. Our Self. Why this article? Because this thing is the root cause of all the sufferance and failures in both professional career and social life.
Wonder what does “being aligned” mean? Who aligns with what? As if there was something else than just our “self”, a presence, an observer that notices the existence of a personality – a virtually made persona – and lets this persona make the conclusions on its behalf. Does that sound complicated? ish…
It becomes even more complicated when someone needs life guidance but instead just listens this damned personality – satisfies its desires, aspirations, fears, addictions, etc. Few people are able to distinguish the inner voice versus the personality’s one. The inner voice means the one coming from the depth of our soul. Our soul? Our substance, consciousness, our awareness or call it whatever you want. In other words when you feel being present, here and now, being in the state of a silent observer – you are making the experience of your substance.
That’s completely different from your personality. The latter mimes and copies in a thousand different ways one’s substance. Not only it is always “acting as” but it is harshly attached to itself and defends its positions and rights for existence. It invents the game of becoming “important”. You like being someone important, or being someone who matters, who makes difference…., don’t you? Why wouldn’t you?
By becoming important, the personality considers that all the challenges and obstacles it overcomes, makes out of it and an even greater “someone”. You become “experienced”. You become “knowledgeable”. You become “clever”. You become that “someone”. You matter.
To succeed well in this relentless game and ensure a complete victory, it makes your substance believe that by losing your personality you’ll lose your “Self”, that you’ll simply die. This is called “self-identification”. It assigns you a persona-type, a character, a role, habits, features. Given that your substance is something extremely subtle and sensitive, very naïf and often open-minded, it believes all the story and gets into the trap of an identification with the so called “Self”. Why that? Because natures fears emptiness.
“What’s the problem in this?” – you would certainly ask. The problem is that you trust your entire life to someone who gets no idea of what to do or what should be done. This looks as if you sat down in a taxi and instead of ordering a trip to your home you trusted the desires of the taxi driver. He may bring you to the place he wants to and that he deems more suitable for you. So, forget about “home”. You’ll never feel yourself home again. You are in a trap, or – if you want – in a trip, a very long trip that may last your entire life. On the way you might be offered some comfort, some great sightseeing’s, some eye-catching stuff, some sensational feelings and you may also meet many interesting people, but never will you ever feel “home”. The disappointments will come one after another. The successes will be alternated by the failures and vice-versa, and yet they simply won’t make sense anymore, because you have no home to bring those successes or failures to.
I do not yet have any clue on how to avoid this or to get rid of it, otherwise I would have been called “Buddha”, however, I have some tricks on how to deal with it and how we can handle it wisely, not cleverly, not intelligently, not shrewdly… but wisely.
In order to succeed in handling this awkward game, you need to be diplomatic. What does this word mean? “Matos” comes from the greek “face” and “diplo” means “double” or “two”. Hence, to succeed you need to see the both sides, the two faces that you and everyone else have.
Many time diplomatic approaches avoided huge crises to the humanity. Then why shouldn’t it work for individuals? Read through the various articles in this website and you will discover the secrets behind the Diplomatos way of thinking.